How This Holiday Season Is Shaping Your Nervous System

As this year comes to a close, many of us find ourselves doing something almost automatically— we reflect.

We replay moments from this year. Sometimes from years before. Moments of joy, connection, regret, loss, pride, grief.

What most people don’t realize is this:

Reflection isn’t neutral. It’s neurological.

There’s a foundational principle in neuroscience—often attributed to early brain research—that says:

When things fire, they wire.

In simple terms, the neural circuits you activate repeatedly become stronger and more automatic over time. Your nervous system doesn’t judge whether a memory is helpful or harmful. It simply responds to repetition, emotional intensity, and attention.

And this time of year—holidays, endings, transitions—is one of the most powerful wiring periods we experience.

Memory Is a Full-Body Event

Neuroscience has shown for decades that memory recall isn’t just cognitive—it’s physiological. Research into emotional memory, including work by Joseph LeDoux, demonstrates that remembering emotionally charged events activates many of the same neural and bodily responses as the original experience.

Contrary to popular advice, “processing” a memory over and over verbally doesn’t heal the nervous system—regulation does.

When you remember something meaningful:

Your heart rate changes

Your breathing shifts

Your muscles tighten or soften

Your nervous system responds in real time

In other words, your body doesn’t know the difference between “then” and “now.”

That means reflecting on this year can either reinforce resilience—or quietly reinforce stress and dysregulation.

Why Positive Memories Matter More Than We Think

If you notice yourself remembering something positive—a moment of connection, laughter, peace, or accomplishment—most people move on too quickly.

But research on positive emotional states, including the work of Barbara Fredrickson, shows that lingering in positive emotions actually broadens awareness and builds long-term psychological and neurological resources.

This isn’t indulgence. It’s training your nervous system.

When a positive emotional state arises:

Pause

Breathe

Notice where it lives in your body

Let it spread

By doing this, you’re strengthening neural circuits associated with safety, connection, and regulation. You’re teaching your nervous system that this is a state worth returning to.

When Reflection Turns Heavy: Interrupt the Pattern

Of course, this season doesn’t only bring positive memories.

For many people, it also activates grief, loneliness, regret, or unresolved pain. That’s not weakness—it’s biology. Emotion is the glue of memory, and the brain evolved to remember threat vividly.

But here’s the critical distinction:

Remembering pain does not require re-living it endlessly.

When a negative emotional state gets triggered, one of the most effective tools is something known as a pattern interrupt—a deliberate change that breaks the automatic loop between memory and emotion.

One of the fastest ways to do this is through the body.

Stand up. Move. Soften your gaze into peripheral (panoramic) vision. Breathe slowly through your nose.

This isn’t just “mindfulness.” Modern neuroscience, including work popularized by Andrew Huberman, shows that nasal breathing, movement, and wide-angle vision activate the parasympathetic nervous system.

These actions send a powerful signal through the vagus nerve that says: I am safe right now.

Regulation, Connection, and the Vagus Nerve

The vagus nerve plays a central role in emotional regulation and connection. According to Stephen Porges and Polyvagal Theory, activation of the ventral vagal system supports calm, social engagement, and emotional stability.

This is the state where:

Perspective returns

Clarity improves

Healing becomes possible

Every time you interrupt a negative emotional loop with movement, breath, and awareness, you’re not avoiding reality—you’re rewiring your nervous system.

Why This Matters for the New Year

Here’s the part that often gets missed.

January doesn’t have to be a crash. It doesn’t have to be heavy, lonely, or hollow.

Not because life suddenly becomes easy—but because your relationship with your internal state can change.

The more often you interrupt dysregulation, the less automatic it becomes. The more often you choose breath over panic, movement over freeze, connection over isolation, the more your nervous system learns a new default.

This isn’t about denying painful memories. It’s about not letting them dictate the future.

A Simple Practice as the Year Closes

As this year ends, consider three gentle practices:

When something good arises, stay with it. Breathe it in. Let it wire.

When something heavy arises, interrupt the pattern. Move. Breathe. Widen your vision.

When possible, seek connection. Because connection is regulation.

We don’t move into the next year by forcing optimism. We move forward by training safety—slowly, repeatedly, and kindly.

Because in the end, the wiring really does change.

When things fire, they wire.

If this resonated, feel free to repost or share—it may help someone else close the year a little more grounded.

— Allen Kanerva

AUTHOR’S NOTE

The following are references for the article.

“When things fire together, they wire together” — Neuroplasticity

Hebb, D. O. (1949). The Organization of Behavior: A Neuropsychological Theory. New York: Wiley.

Hebb’s foundational work established that neurons that activate together form stronger connections, providing the biological basis for habit formation, emotional conditioning, and memory consolidation.

Memory Recall Recreates Emotional and Physiological States

LeDoux, J. E. (1996). The Emotional Brain. New York: Simon & Schuster.

LeDoux demonstrated that emotional memory—especially fear and threat-related memory—bypasses conscious reasoning and directly activates autonomic and somatic responses, explaining why memories feel “present” in the body.

Pattern Interrupts, Movement, and State Change

Ratey, J. J. (2008). Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain. New York: Little, Brown and Company.

Ratey’s work shows that physical movement immediately influences neurotransmitters and neural regulation, supporting the use of movement as a rapid emotional pattern interrupt.

Peripheral Vision, Nasal Breathing, and Nervous System Regulation

Huberman, A. D. (2021). The Science of Stress, Breathing, and the Nervous System. Huberman Lab Podcast.

Huberman explains how nasal breathing and panoramic vision stimulate vagal tone, reduce stress hormones, and shift the nervous system toward parasympathetic dominance.

Vagus Nerve, Ventral Vagal State, and Connection

Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. New York: W. W. Norton & Company.

Porges’ Polyvagal Theory explains how activation of the ventral vagus nerve supports connection, calm, and resilience, while chronic threat states impair emotional regulation.

Positive Emotional States and Memory Consolidation

Fredrickson, B. L. (2001). The Role of Positive Emotions in Positive Psychology: The Broaden-and-Build Theory. American Psychologist, 56(3), 218–226.

Fredrickson’s research shows that positive emotions broaden awareness and build lasting psychological and neurological resources over time.